Dreams

Do you ever think back to what you wanted to be when you were younger?

I wanted to be a Veterinarian for the most part.  Also, I thought that I could be an author and would stay up late in the night scribbling out “novels” which were really just senseless notebook pages.

If you were to dig through the mounds of old keepsakes in my parent’s attic you could find my elementary school yearbook where I stated “I want to be a veterinarian” as my career goal.  For a nine-year old girl whose biggest problem was making sure little tommy didn’t find out I had a crush on him, something so complex as deciding what to do with the rest of my life was apparently such a simple idea.

But now here I am as a twenty-something year old on the brink of graduating from a four-year institution with no idea how to spend the rest of my life and my time is running out.  So where did that certainty and confidence disappear to?

What happened to the dreams and ambitions we had when we were young?  I am almost certain most of you thought something along the lines of “we grew up” or “welcome to reality and/or the real world” or something of the like.  Those are the things most of us are told time and time again.  But my questions is, why couldn’t we be those things we once wished for?  Why didn’t I pursue my dream of being an author or a veterinarian? Unless your dream was to become a dog, I refuse to settle for the explanation that growing up kills our dreams.

I was just reading an article about the same topic earlier today.
When we were young, adults embraced our crazy dreams and goals and told us we could do whatever we wanted to as long as we set our mind to it.  But the gears switched when we reached a certain age.  Suddenly our dreams of being rocks stars and astronauts became ridiculous and thoughtless concepts that we needed to outgrow.  We needed to get our head out of the clouds.

Now here I am more than ten years later wishing I pursued those dreams.  I wish that when I was growing up and going through my basic years of education that I didn’t lose the confidence to be whatever crazy dream I wanted to be.  They say the only regrets you’ll ever have are of the chances you didn’t take.

I blame society for telling me I needed to face reality and pick a career that would be in demand or guarantee employment and financial stability.  I blame myself for listening.  I blame myself for not taking a step back and focusing on who I am or who I wanted to become.  I blame myself for not working harder to fulfill those impossible or hard-to-achieve dreams.

I blame myself for eradicating those dreams.

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One thought on “Dreams

  1. Susan Calland says:

    Hi Monica! Just my two cents worth on your thoughts today. Never say never! Even if you go back to school to pursue your true dream, no matter how long it takes, you’ll still be that many more years older, whether you are what you want to be or something else! Do what makes you happy! You are such a bright girl. You’ll be successful whatever you choose. Good luck. I will miss seeing you around Findlay but at least there’s facebook, right?! Take care! Hugs!

    Like

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